like all your friends go out and do things and get into relationships and like people that like them back and have fun and do stupid things with their best friends and instead of doing all that you’re just sort of this mildly entertaining thing that people take an interest in once in a while but they wouldn’t really care if it was gone
like you just sort of exist but you don’t really mean anything
nerdy moment: babies at that age don’t have object permanence. if the object cannot be seen, it does not exist. image how freaked the fuck out you would be if suddenly everything went black - effectively ceasing to exist. the baby’s entire world vanished then came back.
so yeah. he probably did think his entire existence ended.